Youth Mental Health Day
When Young People Are Struggling
Mental health, coping and the risk of addiction.
When a young person is struggling with their mental health, it does not always look like sadness. It may look like anger, silence, disrupted sleep, falling grades, withdrawing from friends, taking more risks or insisting that everything is fine.
It can be tempting to focus only on the behaviour we can see. We may ask why they are being difficult, why they have changed or why they will not simply talk to us. But behaviour often communicates something that a young person cannot yet explain.
The more useful question may be: what is happening underneath this?
Looking beneath behaviour
Young people are carrying more than we sometimes realise
Growing up has never been simple. Young people are trying to understand who they are while navigating school or college, relationships, family expectations, social media, body image, uncertainty about the future and the pressure to appear as though they are coping.
They may compare their ordinary, complicated life with carefully edited versions of everybody else's. They can be surrounded by people and still feel deeply alone. Some are also living with trauma, loss, bullying, neurodiversity, discrimination, poverty, family conflict or caring responsibilities that the adults around them may not fully see.
A young person does not need to have a diagnosis for their distress to matter. They do not need to be in crisis before they deserve support.
Understanding the need underneath
Coping is not the same as being okay
All of us develop ways to manage difficult feelings. Some coping strategies help us process what is happening. Others mainly help us escape it for a while.
For a young person, escape might come through constantly scrolling, gaming through the night, avoiding school, controlling food, self-harm, risky relationships, alcohol or drugs. These behaviours are not all the same, and they should not be treated as though they are. What they may have in common is that they offer temporary relief from feelings that seem too painful, confusing or overwhelming to hold.
That relief matters. If something briefly quietens anxiety, numbs emotional pain or makes someone feel accepted by a group, it can quickly become appealing. Repeating it can create a pattern: distress builds, the coping behaviour brings short-term relief, and the longer-term consequences create even more distress.
Keeping the link in perspective
Why risky coping can become addiction
Most young people who experience mental health difficulties will not develop an addiction. It is important not to frighten or label them.
However, when alcohol, drugs or a behaviour repeatedly becomes the main way someone manages emotions, the risk can increase.
The substance or behaviour may not be the original problem. It may be the solution they found to a problem they did not know how to name.
If we only demand that they stop, without becoming curious about what the coping strategy is doing for them, we can miss the need beneath it.
Understanding this does not mean ignoring harmful behaviour or removing boundaries. It means responding to the whole person rather than treating them as a problem to be managed.
Changes worth noticing
What adults can notice
One difficult day, an argument or a change in mood does not automatically mean that something serious is wrong. Look for changes that persist, become more intense or begin affecting everyday life.
- withdrawing from friends, family or activities they usually enjoy
- significant changes in sleep, appetite, energy or personal care
- increased anger, tearfulness, anxiety or emotional numbness
- frequent physical complaints with no clear cause
- a sudden decline in attendance, concentration or school performance
- secrecy, unexplained money problems or changes in friendship groups
- using alcohol, drugs or another behaviour to relax, sleep, belong or forget
- talking as though they are hopeless, a burden or do not want to be here
Making room for honesty
How to begin the conversation
Young people may not open up the first time we ask. That does not mean the conversation has failed.
Choose a calm moment and describe what you have noticed without accusing them: “You haven't seemed yourself lately, and I've noticed you're not seeing your friends as much. I wanted to check how things have been for you.”
Listen before moving into solutions. Try not to minimise, interrogate or rush to reassure them that everything will be fine. Responses such as “That sounds like a lot to carry” or “You don't have to explain it perfectly” can make more space than a stream of advice.
If they disclose alcohol, drug use, self-harm or another risky behaviour, stay as calm as you can. Thank them for telling you. Ask what happens before the behaviour, what it changes for them in the moment and what support might feel possible.
Help before things reach crisis
Support before crisis
Early support is not an overreaction. A trusted adult, school or college pastoral team, GP, counsellor or specialist service can help a young person make sense of what they are experiencing and develop safer ways to cope.
Mental health support should not begin and end with stopping a behaviour. Young people need places where they can be heard without shame, understood in context and involved in decisions about their own support.
They do not need a perfect adult with all the right answers. They need adults who are willing to notice, listen, stay curious and keep showing up.
If help is needed now
Support is available
If a young person is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.
Childline offers free, confidential support for anyone under 19 in the UK. Call 0800 1111.
Samaritans can be reached free at any time on 116 123.
For urgent mental health help in England, call NHS 111 and select the mental health option. A GP can also help with non-emergency concerns and local referrals.
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